Husbands, love your wives...

                Why did Adam choose to sin and eat the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil? The Bible tells us that Eve was deceived. She was tricked into eating the fruit. Adam was not. He willing chose spiritual death in order to be with his wife. Why? I would imagine that only he could answer that. One thing I have noticed all these years later is that men, who have been blessed with a wife, sometimes do the same thing. In some cases they choose to be less spiritual minded in order to be with their wives.

                I have seen men who believed strongly in certain doctrines, yield to their wives and attend a church that held to different doctrines because it offered what she perceived to be better programs for the children. I have seen men who strongly believed they shouldn’t observe certain holidays, give in and observe the holidays, with resistance at first, but later come to enjoy the celebration of those holidays because is was something the wife loved. I have seen men who were strong Christians give up their long time Christian friends because their wives felt intimidated being around them.     Paul the Apostle was right…

1 Corinthians 7:33    But he that is married careth for the things that are of the

                                          world, how he may please his wife.

                Why do we men want to please our wives? I think its pretty simple. We do so because we love them, even if it at times means a spiritual set back. Yes, we love our wives. But do we love our wives as we should?  Do we love our wives even as Christ also loved the church?

Ephesians 5:25-29

25   Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26   That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27   That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28   So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29   For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth  and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

                We are to love our wives even as Christ loved the church. I do not take Ephesians 5:25  as a suggestion. Rather, I take it as a command. I am to love Sarah as Christ loves His bride, the church. How does Christ love the church?

                First of all, He gave himself for it. Not only did He lay down His physical life for it willingly, he daily gives of Himself to provide for its needs. Why does He daily give Himself to meet the churches needs?  He does so in order to set the church apart or sanctify it. Not only does He set it apart from everything else, but He also cleanses it by washing it with the word of God.

                This morning, as I was reading the word of God, this question was impressed upon my heart. Do I love Sarah even as Christ loves His church? Do I give myself for her? Do I set her apart from all others? Do I cleanse her with the word of God? 

                That reminds me of  John 13:1-15  When Christ was with His disciples observing the Passover feast, He wrapped a towel around his waist and began to wash their feet with water. Peter objected thinking that Christ shouldn’t be washing his feet. Christ told him that if He didn’t wash his feet then Peter had no part with Him. Peter  then wanted to be washed from head to toe. Christ told Peter that he didn’t need a full bath, but only to have his feet washed. He was showing Peter that once a person was saved, they didn’t need to be saved again, they needed to be cleansed once in a while to get rid of the sin that tends to get on us as we walk through this life.

                That is what Christ does for His church. He cleanses it with His word. That is what I am to do with my wife. I am to help her stay clean from sin, by washing her, soaking her, immersing her in the word of God.

                I do give myself for her. Every day I go to work to provide for her physical needs. I provide a roof over her head, money for clothes, food, water, electricity. I give her meaningful touches throughout the day. I do my best to provide for her every physical need. However, I have to ask myself, do I give of myself every day to provide for her spiritual needs?  Do I provide her time where she can sit alone quietly and read the word of God? Do I spend time reading the word of God with her and to her?  Giving myself for her does not only apply to meeting her physical needs. It also applies to meeting her spiritual needs.

                Do I set her apart from all others and help her grow spiritually. I spend time studying the word of God so I can teach those who are in my Sunday school, but do I spend time teaching my wife? I would venture to say that she doesn’t know what I am teaching most of the time because I never talk to her about it.  She should be my priority when it comes to teaching the word of God.

                Am I helping my wife stay clean of her sins by washing her…soaking her…immersing her in the word of God? Not as I should, but Lord willing, there will be improvements in that area as well as all the other areas where I fall short.

                Why does Christ do those things for the church? It is because He truly loves her and wants to present her to Himself a glorious church. Why should I love my wife even as Christ loved the church? So my wife will be glorious to me and holy. God tells us to be holy because He is holy. How wonderful it is to help your wife be holy.

                I have to admit, it is an intimidating thought to teach your wife when in your mind, your wife is your spiritual equal. Sure, teaching my children is easy, after all they don’t have a good understanding of the word of God yet. My wife, on the other hand, has a wealth of knowledge and I think to myself, “what could I possibly teach her?”


               Something she said to me the other day started me thinking about this. We had just finished the book of Nehemiah in our evening family Bible time, and Sarah said she understood it better than she ever had before. All I did was read about 15 verses each night and talk about them and the Lord used that to help my wife better understand a book of the Bible. It was not anything special I did. It was not some elegant sermon I prepared. It was the Holy Spirit using me to open Sarah’s understanding a little more.

  

                I have noticed something else. The married men I have known who have been spiritually strong have been those who have spiritually strong wives. The married men I have known who have been weaker spiritually have had spiritually weaker wives.  As goes the wife, so goes the husband.  When Sarah and I married, we became one flesh. Yes, we are equally responsible before God for our own personal walk with Him, yet God has brought us together to help each other in our walk with Him. By nourishing her spiritually with the word of God, I am nourishing myself.

                I am to love my wife the same way that Christ loves His church. I am to love my wife as myself. I won’t starve myself, so why would I starve my precious wife on the word of God? I shouldn’t!  I should nourish her on the word of God. I should give her time alone in a quiet place where she can read the word of God and grow by it. I should read the word of God with her and share with her what the Lord has been pleased to reveal to me concerning it.  If I really want to live a strong spiritual life, then I must see to it that my wife is nourished with the word of God.  

                I am to cherish her in the same way Christ cherishes His bride, the church. The stronger she is in spirit, the stronger in spirit I will become. I honestly believe that I have the best marriage of all, past, present and future.  It is all because of God’s work in our lives. God has given me a godly wife in Sarah. My goal in this life is to love her even as Christ loved the church. Not too long ago, the Lord showed me that I was not teaching my children as I should concerning the things of God. Now He has shown me that I have not been teaching my wife from the word of God as I should. 


              By His grace and mercy, I hope to be faithful to His word and obey His command to love Sarah as Christ loves His bride, the church.


             To my wife, Sarah, I would like to say, I love you as best as I know how and Lord willing, I will learn how to love you as Christ loves the church. I want to be faithful to your soul in doing all I can to help you grow spiritually. I want to be faithful to cleanse you with "the washing of water by the word." I desire to help you be holy as our God is Holy. I have told you over and over how thankful I am that it pleased God to give you to me and me to you. You are beautiful and have reached the height of pulchritude in my eyes. Thank you for kind patience with me as our Lord has brought me to these truths. In my humble opinion, I am blessed above all men because I have been blessed to be your husband. Thank you for the best 11+ years of my life. 
             
             None of these thoughts would have ever happened were it not for the Lord Jesus Christ putting them on my mind. In the past year, the Lord has shown me much. To God be the glory! Great things He hath done!