I will forever be grateful to the Lord who answered my request, allowing me to be there holding her hand as she passed through death's door into everlasting life.
I know we all react differently to the death of a loved one. I also know that no two people deal with grief the same way. Every one of God's elect has a different salvation experience, yet we are all saved the same way...by His grace alone. Similarly, we all deal with grief differently, yet we all experience comfort from whom Paul called, "the God of all comfort," in 2 Corinthians 1:3. Truly, He comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
I have been a pastor for only two years, yet early on in my ministry I was asked to preach two funerals. I have been around death. I have lost all my grandparents. I lost my mother-in-law. I have lost church members. I have seen many people in various stages of grief. Knowing that losing loved one is part of this life and in an attempt to help those who have experienced it firsthand, I wrote a post a couple of years ago entitled, "A Biblical Approach To Dealing With Grief." I researched all the stages of grief so when the time came, I would know what was experiencing. As best as I could, I prepared myself for my mother's death.
I truly believe the Lord has shown me something about grief that no one ever mentioned in all their research and study. Grief is a self-focused look at the loss of a loved one, or some other tragic event. The sadness and despair of grief comes from focusing on how the particular event you are going through will affect you.
In the case of my mother's death, I could have spent a lot of time thinking about how much I would miss her, and how life would never again be the same...how every September 17th, I would no longer be able to send her a birthday card, or how every September 28th I would not be able to wish her and my dad a "Happy Anniversary." I could spend time being sad that she would never know our youngest son who was born 5 months after she died. All these thoughts focused on me and how I would be affected.
Since July 9, 2010, the day my mother-in-law went to be with the Lord, Christ has focused my eyes more steadfastly on eternity. I don't see things the same as I once did. Instead of thinking about myself and how much I would miss my mother-in-law, the Lord caused me to think about her and what she was experiencing. This mindset stayed with me when my own mother went to be with the Lord.
I remember being there, three hundred and sixty-five days ago, as she drew in her last breath and exhaled for the final time. The tears I cried were more tears of joy than tears of grief. I knew that at that very second, she was in the presence of Jesus Christ who, according to Colossians 1:16, created everything. Not only were all things created by Him, but He stepped into His own creation took upon Himself human flesh. He became a man like we are and yet remained God. He went to the cross of Calvary where He suffered the greatest physical torture imaginable, shedding his own blood for the sins of His people. Even greater than that, He suffered the wrath of Almighty God for His people's sins. He was forsaken of God, so we would not have to be. The sins of His people were not pardoned, they were not over looked...they were dealt with on the cross of Calvary. They were paid for, and on January 21, 2016, my mother stood in the very presence of Jesus Christ. She saw Him face to face. Think about that!
How could I ever be sad, knowing that the woman, whom God chose to use (along with my dad) to bring me into this world...who loved me with all her life and who (with my dad) taught me the word of God, showed me my sinful condition, and need of Christ, was standing in His very presence looking at Him face to face? The sadness stopped when my attention was drawn away from myself and was turned to her.
What was it like when she saw Christ for the first time...the One who saved her soul? How did what she see compare with what John the Apostle saw on the Isle of Patmos when he was worshipping on the Lord's Day in Revelation 1:10-17? ...or what Isaiah saw in Isaiah 6:1-5? ...or what Peter, James and John saw on the Mt. of Transfiguration when Christ was transfigured in all His glory in Matthew 17?
Paul was right...we see through a glass darkly, but one day we will see Christ face to face. Because God has chosen to reveal some things about heaven to us through His word, we have a very limited understanding of what it will be like...but one day all our limits will be taken away and we will see Him face to face.
My mother, the one who gave birth to me, who gave so much of her life to raise me, who to this very hour still loves me, is in the presence of Jesus Christ! How could I be sad about that?!! Sure I miss her, but my joy for her and what she is experiencing far exceeds any sadness I might have at not seeing her for the rest of such a short life as this.
She went through so much, battling cancer for 18 years. I can say this based on my observations of her throughout the 42 years I had the privilege of having her...she fought the good fight, she finished her course, and she most definitely kept the faith...and now the Author of her faith has finished it. Her soul, though absent from her body, is present with the Lord.
This life is so short. According to Scripture it is but a vapor. One day soon, I too, will be there...at the feet of Christ, looking up at Him, face to face. I have more confidence in that than I do in anything on this earth.
One day, after having spent an eternity thanking Christ for His salvation and innumerable blessings in this life, I will be able to sit down with my mother-in-law and my mother and ask them what it was like when they first saw Christ. Unbelievable!!!!!
I thank the Lord for the 42 years He allowed me to have with my mother. She will always be special to me in ways that only a mother can be. She was used of God to point me to Christ. She lived out her faith from the day the Lord saved her until the day she needed it no more, standing in His presence.
When I think of my mom, I don't think of her in the past tense. I think of her in the present tense. She is not forever gone. He soul is not on this earth right now, but she is more alive today than she ever has been. One day, according to Scripture, when Christ, who is the resurrection, steps out of glory and with a shout at the last trump, calls His people home, her grave will open and her body will be raised up and made new in sinless perfection. Her soul will be reunited with that body and she, as well as all believers, will be caught up to be forever with the Lord.
If I could say one thing to my Mom today, it would be... "Happy 1 Year Anniversary! Enjoy worshipping your Savior in sinless perfection!"
I truly believe the Lord has shown me something about grief that no one ever mentioned in all their research and study. Grief is a self-focused look at the loss of a loved one, or some other tragic event. The sadness and despair of grief comes from focusing on how the particular event you are going through will affect you.
In the case of my mother's death, I could have spent a lot of time thinking about how much I would miss her, and how life would never again be the same...how every September 17th, I would no longer be able to send her a birthday card, or how every September 28th I would not be able to wish her and my dad a "Happy Anniversary." I could spend time being sad that she would never know our youngest son who was born 5 months after she died. All these thoughts focused on me and how I would be affected.
Since July 9, 2010, the day my mother-in-law went to be with the Lord, Christ has focused my eyes more steadfastly on eternity. I don't see things the same as I once did. Instead of thinking about myself and how much I would miss my mother-in-law, the Lord caused me to think about her and what she was experiencing. This mindset stayed with me when my own mother went to be with the Lord.
I remember being there, three hundred and sixty-five days ago, as she drew in her last breath and exhaled for the final time. The tears I cried were more tears of joy than tears of grief. I knew that at that very second, she was in the presence of Jesus Christ who, according to Colossians 1:16, created everything. Not only were all things created by Him, but He stepped into His own creation took upon Himself human flesh. He became a man like we are and yet remained God. He went to the cross of Calvary where He suffered the greatest physical torture imaginable, shedding his own blood for the sins of His people. Even greater than that, He suffered the wrath of Almighty God for His people's sins. He was forsaken of God, so we would not have to be. The sins of His people were not pardoned, they were not over looked...they were dealt with on the cross of Calvary. They were paid for, and on January 21, 2016, my mother stood in the very presence of Jesus Christ. She saw Him face to face. Think about that!
How could I ever be sad, knowing that the woman, whom God chose to use (along with my dad) to bring me into this world...who loved me with all her life and who (with my dad) taught me the word of God, showed me my sinful condition, and need of Christ, was standing in His very presence looking at Him face to face? The sadness stopped when my attention was drawn away from myself and was turned to her.
What was it like when she saw Christ for the first time...the One who saved her soul? How did what she see compare with what John the Apostle saw on the Isle of Patmos when he was worshipping on the Lord's Day in Revelation 1:10-17? ...or what Isaiah saw in Isaiah 6:1-5? ...or what Peter, James and John saw on the Mt. of Transfiguration when Christ was transfigured in all His glory in Matthew 17?
Paul was right...we see through a glass darkly, but one day we will see Christ face to face. Because God has chosen to reveal some things about heaven to us through His word, we have a very limited understanding of what it will be like...but one day all our limits will be taken away and we will see Him face to face.
My mother, the one who gave birth to me, who gave so much of her life to raise me, who to this very hour still loves me, is in the presence of Jesus Christ! How could I be sad about that?!! Sure I miss her, but my joy for her and what she is experiencing far exceeds any sadness I might have at not seeing her for the rest of such a short life as this.
She went through so much, battling cancer for 18 years. I can say this based on my observations of her throughout the 42 years I had the privilege of having her...she fought the good fight, she finished her course, and she most definitely kept the faith...and now the Author of her faith has finished it. Her soul, though absent from her body, is present with the Lord.
This life is so short. According to Scripture it is but a vapor. One day soon, I too, will be there...at the feet of Christ, looking up at Him, face to face. I have more confidence in that than I do in anything on this earth.
One day, after having spent an eternity thanking Christ for His salvation and innumerable blessings in this life, I will be able to sit down with my mother-in-law and my mother and ask them what it was like when they first saw Christ. Unbelievable!!!!!
I thank the Lord for the 42 years He allowed me to have with my mother. She will always be special to me in ways that only a mother can be. She was used of God to point me to Christ. She lived out her faith from the day the Lord saved her until the day she needed it no more, standing in His presence.
When I think of my mom, I don't think of her in the past tense. I think of her in the present tense. She is not forever gone. He soul is not on this earth right now, but she is more alive today than she ever has been. One day, according to Scripture, when Christ, who is the resurrection, steps out of glory and with a shout at the last trump, calls His people home, her grave will open and her body will be raised up and made new in sinless perfection. Her soul will be reunited with that body and she, as well as all believers, will be caught up to be forever with the Lord.
If I could say one thing to my Mom today, it would be... "Happy 1 Year Anniversary! Enjoy worshipping your Savior in sinless perfection!"
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